Jellyfish…they really are weird creatures.
Curious little swimmers, but really weird stuff.
I mean, they have been swimming the depths of the ocean for like 650 MILLION YEARS without a brain! Well, at least that’s what I read from the net; and which I quote ‘gives new hope for stupid people.
However, beware! I have been in close contact with these jellyfishies-which-are-not-really-fishies and have inhaled their toxins that brought about mental instability…that-or I might just have been contaminated by that of my friends’- stupidity that is.
I mean, we’re all like that. Take earlier’s events for instance, they told me that we should like ‘bond’ at the beach by 3pm, so we did just that. They fetch me-by shouting in front of my house- and we instantly went to the beach. When we got there we were like really surprised to find almost no one trying to surf the ‘twisting current of doom’ (all my idea!!); because people can be stupid like that even without the help from jellyfishies-which-are-not-really-fishies! There have been few records of tourists drowning to their death in the ‘twisting current of doom’ because, well, I guess they thought it’d be fun to try and surf that particular part of the beach and then with some twist of faith wold actually live to tell the tale. But alas, the gift of the jellyfishies have been their down fall. Stupidity?
Forgive me jellyfishies and please don’t let your friend Mr. Box Jellyfish get near me :*
Anyways, on with the story. As I’ve said we merrily-and weirdly walked around the beach, but when we got near the water OH MY GOSH we were really really like absolutely flabbergasted to find a bunch of JELLYFISHIES just lying around the shore. We can see a bunch of’em taking up like a whole mile of the shore! Very rude of you jellies!
And because we were very much amazed at the transparent and soft little creatures we each got a stick and decided to do some ‘major experimentation’ on the dead little jellies. I mean, they were just lying there, doing nothing, beginning to rot-okay maybe not, but still- that’s why we did what seemed appealing at them moment. That and because we were bored and didn’t want to brave the cold sloshing waves- we didn’t want to get sticky!! EEEEEW! So we sat there, in front of the dead jellyfishies-which-are-not-really-fishies, laughing like crazy at something one of us said and looking like a bunch of absolutely reckless and psychopathic teens. If anyone would look at us they won’t even encourage thoughts that we all came from prestigious schools. Egoistic bastard much? No, just sayin, and anyway…it’s a FREE COUNTRY!
Well, on with the story! Because of our boredom and mental breakdown from the hectic college life, we decided that of all the stupid things we’ve done together, we haven’t like tried being mad and evil scientists creating mutants and destroying the world, so we did just that. With our sticks, a bbq stick for me and a bunch of Harry Potter looking twigs for them, we tried dissecting the dead little jellies and accidentally used the word ‘testicles’ instead of ‘tentacles’- I mean seriously, they sound the same…well, almost? But because we’re all weird and really insane when we’re like together, my other friend tried to put a little crab, which we named Mr. KRUBS, lying near the jellies inside the jelly! And after a full five minutes later, she took it out and found out that the shell of the crab like melted or something. We all saw how squeashy and so so soft Mr. Krubs became, and amazed by that new discovery we tried to do the same things with the other jellies…but of course it was a fluke. As I’ve said, WEIRDNESS.
Birds with the same feather flock together, friends with the same sanity bond together.
We eventually got bored of poking around jellyfishies-which-are-not-really-fishies so we resorted to helping them hide from the unforgiving children living near the bay. We covered them with sand, and stupidly hoping that someone might actually walk ‘on’ them and be like EEEEEWWWW. Snotty brats would do! You might be flinching at what we did, stop flinching,,,don’t worry we considered animal cruelty and forced cannibalism but hey, it’s the INFORMATION AGE and we invoke our rights to self-incrimination! (This blog might not help our case though) ALSO! We even helped the ‘barely’ alive ones get back to the ocean, like the ones who found a hiding spot near plastic cups- because we were like oh sht dude this one’s totally SMARTICLES! AAAAndandand we ony did that to the ‘dead ones’. But why am I saying this, I don’t even know maybe because I had too much chocolate cake.
It got boring after an hour, so we immediately promised to make a SAVE THE JELLYFISH FOUNDATION by making people donate brains and then we decided we liked to be called DAUNTLESS WOMEN IN BLACK…or SOUL HUNTER WOMEN IN BLACK because MIB seemed like a wonderful name at the time. It’s weird I know, so we doltishly walked towards our other friends’ house because we were cool like that and because it was actually near the beach. While walking we decided we’d put up a business this summer by donating one of our kidney’s and with that money invite One Direction to have a ‘private’ concert or just buy them and then sell threads of their hairs for a MILLION BUCKS to rabid fangirls and put their ohmygosh I quote ‘spits’ in ziplocs for-of course-business purposes…what kind of fangirl would let that kind of franchise pass right? Anyways, the money we’d get from that-because we would really be rich if we did that- would be used to buy our kidneys back and have some famous doctor transplant it to us once again! WEIRDNESS.
When we got to our friend’s house which is not named Nica..really! Her dad greeted us and had us wait outside while he call her, and because we’re geniuses thanks to the jellies, we decided to hide behind a VERY noticeable place, escaping the knowledge that she actually knows we’re here and are probably up to no good. Which she is right about since we shook their house with our crazy antics and loud voices and absolutely ridiculous stories like demanding help from the MARINES when we get stuck in traffic or hen air leaves us from an airplane..the rest of our convos, no one in their right minds would want to know. We spent nothing but we got free drinks by trashing their house-not literally-of wild ideas and humiliating imagined stories of our future selves. I can’t tell you all about it but I can give you guys a head start; it has something to do with nutella, lots and lots of it, a slide, and a pool. DON’T JUDGE US WE HAVEN’T SEEN EACH OTHER FOR MONTHS.
But, we eventually got tired of sitting down and drowning drinks so we settled for buying burgers at my bhes’ place. She couldn’t come with us earlier because her mom’s making her clean the bathroom hehe sorry ye mwah because she didn’t help with their beach house. But of course, we wouldn’t be us if we somehow did not manage to embarrass ourselves in front of a crowd when we’re all together, so just imagine our surprise to find neighbors looking at us like we’ve grown a second head because they quite obviously heard all the humiliating stuff we’ve discussed in what we though was a ‘private’ place. DARN you thin walls!!!!
We still held our heads high though-because we couldn’t really do anything else given the circumstances. We mounted a motor rickshaw and were laughing and shouting stuff like ‘DONATELLA I NEED A NEW OUTFIT, I’M INVESTING IN THE WORLD BANK AND I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE HALFWAY ACROSS THE GLOBE I NEED IT NOW!’ mostly it was me shouting, oh and no i really did not mean DONATELLO..i know the difference from the two..donatella is what I decided to call my friend from now on (Donna is NOT her name!!) and Donatello was a renaissance sculptor, and a respected one at that!
A few minutes later we were already making another ruckus in front of my bhes’ grocery store by ordering different or not so different burgers- ones with no ketchup, no cucumbers, stuff like that. All the while my other friend which we will call Pops has been cradling our 1.5 drink and telling the world that it’s more important to save the drinks than us. A liability of sorts? How weird I just craved the feeling of wanting to compare our drinks to houses through economics. How weird, I’m not even an econ major! Nor is my course remotely close to that!
For the nth time that day we got tired of sitting around munching our burgers, so we once again decided to pay a little innocent visit to bhes. We danced around every CCTV camera out there leading to her house and I pressed the imaginary elevator that spared us from walking the stairs-in my lazy dreams!
It was crazy, her parents welcomed us as usual- happily and very kindly! Thank you bhes’ mommy and daddy!!!! We even had pop corn and some cold dessert! But before that we went to their upstairs balcony and enjoyed the cool breeze as it swept away our very eeky perspiration…no badass word for sweat than that! HA!
We spotted some dudes shooting hoops and before you can even say OH NO, my other friend who we will call ‘Bells’ hollered at some randon dude with a blue shirt, making us all duck into hiding in reflex. Of course she paid for it, what can I say karma has its digital ways- she slipped and scraped her knee whilst trying to hide from the glares of the dude she called. We still love you Bells!!!! MWAH!
I think the dude was pissed with us because he kept shooting glares at us which later on led us to just slump to the ground in a circle and talk about everything yet nothing at all! And that’s when I felt that I really am HOME!
The familiar smiles and laughter embraced me and sent beautiful ripples through my heart strings! I WAS/AM HOME! After all, I’m with my girl friends…the loveliest lovelies in the world that I would trade anything for…
I love my weirdos, because, well, they’re MY weirdos!
So we spent almost four hours just talking to each other…mostly about flying lizards and flying spiders…flying frogs who would laugh at the other insects who tried to best him before by flying higher than what his tongue could reach…because he like has wings now and can literally say ‘DaFuq you tryna do? Don’t fight it man, am gonna kill you ith my tongue anyways’
WEIRDNESS. PSYCHEDELIC. WE DON’T DO DRUGS. WE’RE JUST AMAZINGLY RETARDED. VERY RETARDED. VERY.
Now you see why we’re just all right for each other. Some of you might be cringing after reading this or no one would really read this at all…i don’t care, I just want the WORLD to know that I have the BESTest SET OF GIRL FRIENDS IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE/SOLAR SYSTEM OR WHATEVER!!!